random III

hello there, the angel of my nightmare.

no updates recently. gonna update today in chinese :)

这几个礼拜 都好忙 忙功课 忙生活营 几乎快喘不过气来

这几个礼拜 好不开心 很伤心 很不快乐

从phuket回来 就新年了 总的来说 就是一直在玩

开学了 赶功课的时候了 觉得自己赶不上 很不开心

节目组的东西 又怕赶不上 真的真的很down

终于 camp都举办得非常成功 很开心 因为每个人都付出了很多

越是累 收获越是多 哈哈

收获最大的是 和不熟的人 都熟起来了!

当然 也是感受到很久没感受到的---团结

离开中华第二年了 很久都没感受到团结的感觉了 真的很开心

最大的问题不是功课或其他

是我终于都感受到孤单了 从未感受的孤单

明明很害怕这种感觉 却装酷 最讨厌我自己这样

明明很不快乐 还要装饰

很空虚 很低沉

好像没有ngam key的朋友 怎么办 我该怎样

很辛苦 憋在心里真的很辛苦

有时候想 可能是自己的问题吧

这段日子 好累 没时间打给佩韵青艳可嘉

终于昨天都打给她们了

他们已经可说是我精神支柱 哈

可嘉啊可嘉 我爱你

希望你不会后悔自己作出的选择

我们都会很很很支持你的

还有 谢谢你昨天听了我很多心事

但是 今天 我还是一样的 觉得真的很孤单

很现实的 真的很现实

为什么 为什么 感觉上 自己患上 agoraphobia

目前 学业是我人生当中最最最大的目标

什么都不管了

好不好

不要理了

挨过这年就可以了

不开心的时候总会过去

伤心的时候就哭啦

没什么的

谁不曾有这种感觉

但是我想说

我真的 快崩溃了

谁来关心 ?

无关紧要了.

我还是很很很很

不快乐

我要终结孤单!

well, this is so about my feelings recently. i nvr post a post like this before.

just ignore me. just ignore what i'm scribbling down.

i'm so emo recently.

someone love me & care for me pls.

bite me & pinch me

HAPPY CNY!

yo i'm not asleep yet.. at my dad's gf's shop now..
she's selling flowers tmrw for valentine's day ! haah! gonna help her out tmrw!
feel extremely sleepyyyyyyyy now :(:(:(
HAPPY TIGER YEAR!!
GONG HEE FATT CHAI!!!
HUAT AHHHH!
started playing card games with bro & Mae.. hahaha
u know the game called "in between" ? slightly better than blackjack :P
and yeah,
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
to all lovers : may u & ur partner last long forever!
to all singles : celebrate this special day with ur same sex frens or hangout with frens who are still single! be proud to be single yo!



enjoy ur CNY yo!!! muahhhhhss!!! loves!

wholaa!

phuket yo!

you see you see! my blog is still alive! not dead yet!

lazy to update XD so i personalized my blog HAHA

now i'll blog every alternate days as possible(?) i'm not sure whether i hv those time tho.

anyway, this vry private(for myself) blog is CONFIDENTIAL!

only for some peeps..

yeah it's just for some pies i've invited..

oh yeah oh yeah excited with this twitter-style blogger! *wide smile*

y i call it twitter-style? (i called it!)

cos i update everything in ma mind. my feelings my thoughts whatsoever stuff!

don't make it public please :( i mean not to show ur frens that i don't know or i didn't invite to this bloggie wuggie..

and so, u can share anything here with me. HA HA HA

HAPPY CNY in advance!

tata(L)

OWL CITY!!

let me introduce you this song!

a really really nice song!!!!

OWL CITY'S "FIREFLIES"!

you'll love it ;D

i couldn't get the official music video from Youtube cos the embed code was disabled.

must listen!!

once again,
JAY-Z ft. ALICIA KEYS' "EMPIRE STATE OF MIND" rockssssssss!!!



the end ;D

random II

i was lazy to update my blog recently, all of a sudden, i wanna update.

i was inspired after reading someone's blog, a 16-year-old boy's blog post which i will constantly view, and it really motivated me to publish this post.

an hour ago qingyan called n we chatted something, gossips, as usual.

she told me that a blog of a friend of us, is vry COMMERCIALIZE.

no doubt, she told me in that word "COMMERCIALIZE".

let me guess, commercialize, commercial.. blablabla

n randomly i read the post i've mentioned above..

n these both made sense to me--- just type down what u wanna express!

really cool lah that boy's blog's post, really really awesome!

what he said was really really A FACT.

ok i don't know whether he knows that i'm mentioning him or not >)

great job, good job, xxxxx!

let me see whr i've been in this holiday..

Penang, Taiwan, Cousin's hse, Dad's place, Kumon, Sunway, One Utame, Mid Valley, KTM..................... home -.-

i didn't really enjoy Taiwan bcos' it's not a place that i wanted to go//hv a look/stay/travel,

i enjoyed days with cousins ;D

we're all grown ups, we had fun, strong bonds between us ;)

although we're like..err..different backgrounds.. Sri KDU, ChongHwa, SMK,Ti-Ratana..

but it's fun lah, really fun ;D

we spent occasions together, the most recent one is X'mas@1U ;D

guess what? 6 of us queued for movie tickets for more than 30 minutes and boo ya, we didn't purchase any-.-ll

the whole holiday i didn't spend a day with frens till last Tuesday went out with Peyyan.

more than 3 years we hadn't seen each other yet we're still the same old pals =)

went the TaiMah's(Big Mother)house the day before Christmas Eve, i love her house n also her person. She's a kind woman who really loves her friends n children.

there's no where i wanna go during X'mas but her house.

every year since i was a kid till now.. her house's decos are perfect,beautiful.. it makes u feel like oh-this-is-so-Christmas OR oh-this-is-so-chinese-new-year! laughter, delicious foods, warm... yeah, WARM is the word ;)

hardly spent few days with dad since he was busy n also bro and i.

we watched 2012 a month after it released-.-

ohhh I love you daddy! I really love u so much!!

and the rest of the holi-dayssss i was at home doing ntg =/ & of course Thursdays n Saturdays@KUMON working.

facebook facebook wedding dinners wedding dinners SWT

there are so many wedding dinners to attend!!!! ahhhhh

photos down here! More to come babe!

Tropicana Club House after swimming

Penang

christmas eve@Dessert's Bar

this is what i wore on Christmas Day..

Taipei the five musketeers!

ladies

penang mamak stalls!

penang hotel sea view

penang cousins

penang hotel

Big Mother's house

1st outing with frens this holiday -.-

PEYYAN I LOVE YOU!

mieko n peyyan <3

Mieko the tall girl!

Sam here...

WISHING YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

01-01-2010!!!!

A BRAND NEW YEAR!!!!!!!

SPM HERE I COME!!!!!

dreams come true, humans!!!

playlist : Plasticines-I am down(TQ Jimmy!! a great song!) , Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys-Empire State of mind, Taylor Swift-Fifteen, Alicia Keys-Doesn't Mean Anything & Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift-Two Is Better Than One.

NIGHTS ;P

I LOVE YOU!

I LOVE YOU !!!!!!

updates

i've taken quite many photos in Kumon but unfortunately all gone due to the problem of my memory card & the phone's software ;(;(;( luckily i hv Annie =)

she's my colleague, Sarmini, she's 8 years older than me =D

let me introduce u---- the TWINS!

this is LAU ZI FU! ahhhhhhhhhhh chubby chubby!!

well this is also Zi Fu!

here comes his eldest brother!

LAU ZI HAO!! omgsh omgsh!!

they are TOOOOO CUTE!!!!

especially the right handside brother ZI FU!! u see??!!
everyone in the center couldn't resist to pinch them 99!!

fatty chubby funny but not naughty! haha!

the way they speak is super duper cute!!

both standard one!

can u differentiate them??

the left side is the eldest brother ZI HAO n so the right side is ZI FU.

u look at their face... the slimmer one is ZI HAO n obviously the fatter one is ZI FU!

hahahahhahhaahaha it makes sense lah!!

in fact i've already recorded 2 videos of ZI FU........... ;(

blame my phone lahh ;(

really cute u know.. !!!

thanks to Annie & her phone :)

let me tell u this video down there!!! haha!! it's about the "Monologue Song(La La La)" sang by Taylor Swift when she opened the show, Saturday Night Live/SNL, as a host. It's really hilarious!!!! the lyrics were hilarious when she sang about Joe Jonas(her ex-bf),Taylor Lautner(her current one) & Kanye West who ruined her VMA. really funny tho.. i don't know whether it's funny to you.. but YOU GOTTA WATCH N LISTEN THIS! the lyrics right below the video :D :D

“I like writing songs about douchebags who cheat on me but I’m not gonna say that in my monologue.”
– “You might think I’d bring up Joe [Jonas], that guy who broke up with me on the phone, but I’m not gonna mention him in my monologue. Hey Joe! I’m doing real well. Tonight, I’m hosting SNL but I’m not gonna brag about that in my monologue. La la la. Ha ha ha. La la la.”
– “And if you’re wondering if I might be dating the werewolf from Twilight. "Hey Taylor [Lautner]! (blows kiss, winks)" But I’m not gonna comment on that in my monologue.”lalalalalalala this is my musical monologue.
– “You might be expecting me to say something bad about Kanye [West] and how he ran up on stage and ruined my VMA monologue. But there’s nothing more to say cuz everything’s okay. I’ve got security lining the stage. It’s my SNL monologue.lalalalalalala this is my SNL monologue lalalalalalala that was my SNL monologue”
“We have a great show. Kanye West is NOT here, so stick around. We’ll be right back.”

i rate 4.5/5 !

and yeah i found a website where girls can purchase facial masks online XD

"只需區區2令吉++以上便可購得一片據有功效面膜，你還在等什麽？"

don't worry it's in Malaysia=.= n Cash On Delivery@JUSCO Maluri/Jusco Kepong/Pavillion etc.

facial mask brands : 我的美麗日記、我的心機、嬌蘭世家、LOHASHILL、韓佳妮、美人肌酒粕面膜系列、美主人24K金 etc.

check out here : AI MASK ! stocks mostly from Taiwan, China & Japan.

strongly recommending yo!

oh ya! Hitz.fm called me last wednesday!! hahaha!! nothing to brag about actually><

few days ago, i was mopping the floor in that morning n was listening to FLY FM. WHOALA! mom received a call,was vry unusual that i didn't use her hp to call anyone but someone calling me?! then i answered the call, obviously calling from KL 'cos the numbers were 0390xxxxxx.. n the voice was so unfamiliar BUT familiar!! he said "hi r u samantha?", i answered "ya?" ,"this is calling from Hitz FM and i'm xxxx!" i don't know whether he was Ean or JJ.. i think it's Ean lah(morning crew)

then i was like OMGOMGOMGOMG!!! i could feel my temperature rising instantly!!

then he required my IC NO & address n told me bout the prizes & stuff lah.. i was too nervous n wasn't listening to what he was talking about.

n he started to ask me questions n i hv to answer in 21 seconds!! tooo panic ah!

.............. i answered two correctly only ......... :( ....... shud be 4 and more!!!!!!!!!

he ended by telling if i'm the winner to see GreenDay@AUS i'll receive a call on Friday.. but, but, but... no phone calls on Friday.. wuwahhhh T.T

nvm la, my love towards GREENDAY won't change =D

i love u billie! i love u trecool! i love u mike!

muahs (L)

this blog is so dead.. it's no more like before i changed my template..

so dead huhhhhhhhhhhh!! should i dig a graveyard for my blog????

the c-box is too "exposed" i think or maybe it's a fact---no one's viewing my blog anymore!!!

HELLLOOOOOO??!!! i'm hearing echoes *hellohellohelloooo*

abandoned ;'(

i was emotional these few weeks, depressed, till i didnt realize it's November,

it's the 16th today *sigh* IT'S NOVEMBER!!!!

it was already a month since my bday party! can u believe that???

i'm unhappy ;( i'm NOT happy

i always have too much to think, major unnecessary stuff..

how unnecessary? thinking which tv drama to watch, which movie to go, what to post on blog, which song i've not dl-ed yet,i've not bought PUCCA yet, why he/she didn't call me, oh i've forgotten to tell her bout that! , when to do facial, missing someone,haven't marked my worksheets,when to repair my phone camera,what to wear for the next outing, how much i'll earn this month, are ghosts exist?, what's wrong with our relationship, how to tell mom that i wanted to buy an iPod using her credit card, when we're goin to meet, how

to get rid of that kinda behaviour, why i'm sad now, how long i didnt contact with frens, y i

didnt appreciate, i'm goin to work harder, i wanna buy this/that, y i'm living a life like

this................ ......... .....

rather absurd, isn't it? not kidding .

i'm silly & stupid.. i rmb when i was form2, the best year i ever had, qingyan really likes to take photos using her camera.. i was like "y she likes to capture everything??"

now i realized, how important a camera is.. ;)

this year, sweet sixteen?

ironically i was living in the past, i'm living in those wonderful memories i had,

i don't wanna wake up, i persuaded myself, this is the best way to escape from my real life,

i don't like what i'm living now, i don't like writing blogs about state of mind, i really dislike reading ppl's emotional blogs yet now i'm typing, i'm sick..

samantha u're sick

i regret that i didn't capture every moment i had when i was in CH, especially form 2.

TOO GREAT, greatest memories i had despite few of my frens were leaving school,

i had the greatest class, greatest frens(ever), greatest sports day, greatest society, greatest

bday celebration,surprises, gifts & cards, greatest guy, greatest events....

all the Greatest, imprinted forever on my memory **BIG BIG SMILE**

but why, why didn't i capture them??

i wasn't used to take photos using my own camera, i own a camera phone & a camera but i seldom get use of it.. even though cameras r with me when i'm having a great time, yet i still always forget to take photos-.- how stupid ! BIMBO!!! that's why i hv not much photos of

2007.. *2007 photos credit to LOW QING YAN* =) u've done a great job!

awwww.. peace. no war! haha

i also had a great time in the hostel with 413, tpy, nicky & wanqing :)

i love those days with them so so much, how much i wished to go back...

playing with my form1 roommates, having meals with nicky & all of them, playing volleyball, sharing secrets with the girls, crazy about ohmyGod-.-,hair cut by discipline teachers,

arguments with parents, crying in front of besties,writing letters with them, acting like a narcissist, bringing on the atmosphere in class, havin' fun in two societies,birthday wishes from many many frens... laughters everyday.. thanks so much frens ;D STOP! pls stop! STOP

RECALLING!!

i'm so touched n happy , but i hate that i wasn't grateful, i seemed to take things for granted.

i felt sorry.. i apologize to whom i didn't appreciate : SORRY!! (forgive me?)

2007 was a year that my frens n i syok sendiri, was totally fun.. SYOK SENDIRI = FUN !!

i thought i'm naive,so i made a change, it was what u can see in 2008, a transform or grown-up?

no more declaring myself as Miss World(which i thought it was no more narcissistic than

naive), started buying handbags(goodbye schoolbags!), fell in love with shopping, no more yelling or speaking loudly in class, no more interacting with most of 2007 classmates, no more sms with boys that i'm not interested with, over-confident(a vry bad personality i always wanted to change) & still , disorientated...

ahhhhh, samantha chan, what for??!! *frustrated expression*

in 2008, i started to take photos, more photos.. haha but not much lah ;(

the first day of self-revision 2009

my 15th bday with wanqing,nicky,wanfen& siewling

15th bday : peace sign by anjie,mingshien,wenfang,caiwen,zhilin(camera girl)

n 2008 photos credit to CHIA YIJIE, she has been taking lots n lots of photos since i've known her *heees*

oh ya! i was in love since 1st april 08 *heartthrob* :D:D:D:D:D precious moments! *hearts*

n also 3HE, we had the best moments : 3 days we spent together--graduation trip@EAGLE RANCH, P.D. , and, the very last day of the trip- the day i knew i have to leave CH :'(

the noisiest in class

last day of the trip ;(

ok! it's 2009! no, it's the end of 2009 :(

ain't vry happy. the happiest time is chitchatting thru the phone with besties n jer ;D

not much photos with me.... ahhh!!!

i need those photossssss!!!!

stupid me, silly me!!! y not everytime??

this year i wanted to capture every moment, it didn't make it when i was too happy or sad with frens, or worse, few frens here dislike taking photos but only like taking narcissistic photos-.- hor?? i-xin ng & lisin!!!!! hmph!!

some photos here :

the 1st time they came to my hse, they wanted to giv me a surprise how sweet !
i love them!
they're always with me, supporting me;)

low qing yan!

my new good frens X)

annie wong =)

getting much better now *exhales*

i didnt upload any photos of KUMON right?? *noding heads*

i will i will C:

THANKS again

muah muah muahs

love,

samantha chan.

3 YEARS & GONE

this year i've been through many things... not to say many things.. at least i know who n who r good, who n who r sincere, what mistake i've done... i learnt something which is vry common yet lots of ppl still don't know how to -- APPRECIATE.

yeah appreciate, lots of us know this word, but seems like no one knows it well... pathetic. we come to know only when we lose it.. then we'll be regretting, blaming... every single thing or person in our life is worth to be appreciated. u shouldn't act like u're optimistic "letting it be", sucks u know, in fact u're vry sad n u'll blame urself for the stupid things.. don't act cool.. so people, please appreciate everything u have, appreciate ur family, appreciate the things n education n life ur parents hv given u(don't ever take it for granted), appreciate ur friends, appreciate ur time & so on. BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

give, love

pretender

sweet16 bday party

i wanna thank everyone who came to my party! ahh! thanks so much :) we had a wonderful & great time. It was also like a gathering party though.

thanks for coming u guys : yoongwei, michelle, wanqing, nicky, hsin, michiko, yijie, qingyan, kherjia, lixiu, sityee, ziting, javeen, qian xian, leon, hazel,jiawang, jian bin, lisin, i-xin, mei yan, kher yi, yong yin,mingyeow, peiyeen, shiwei, honggei&his friends,yiyan & debbie, n of course me myself.

thanks again for giving me a wonderful time (: muahhhhssssss!

will upload all photos in facebook & blogger, i'll try my best to upload them asap.(i'm sitting for my finals next two days TT )

todayyyyy!

thank you guys for those compliments on my new layout :)

happy birthday to 5th amy , poh yin

6th leon

7th lau pey yan <3

10th i forgotten who...

11th yao min feng!

12th samantha! xiaoling's sister & wenjing's daddy

20th nui jia wang

22nd jin xian!

27th yinzai

29th cai wen!

31st happy halloween's day!!

n i really wanna thank those who wished me happy bday, according to the time..

let's start with javeen yong(the

earliest!),wanyeng,kheryi,joel,hubby,kherjia,leon,kelvinchu,wanyee,mingshien,peyyan,yijie,

michiko,tuckming,honggei,dylan,lisin,ziqian,peiling,Daddy,jinshern,wanling,ixin,yuanshan,lixiu,

hsin,hazel,shuhui,qingyan,takmun,desmong,laijiawang,eugenelim,debbie510,anjie,alex,meijiung,

yuning,jingxian,qianxin,mayyi,mingyeow,zihao,yongwei,jinye,yanbei,michelle,leslie,ruirong,

annie,liwah,sabrina,peihong,wenjing,yaominfeng,maykwan. **muahs**

thanks so much for the bday songs(thru the phone) from hubby & qingyan,peiyeen,kherjia & 413 consists wenfang,anqi,caiwen,mingshien,zhilin & honggei and his friends & ixin,meixin,lisin & debbie and yiyan(i requested from themXD) .

ixin,meixin,lisin & I went for karaoke on mybday.. they gave me a surprise, n i was really surprised. thanks for celebrating my day n accompanied me thru the whole day :D luv u guyss

yesterday qingyan n jiawang dated me to sunway, n yes we went la..

was a happy day coz jiawang belanja us BBQ PLAZA n karaoke! no la it was really a nice day:D qingyan's purpose to sunway was to buy clothes for my party n jiawang's purpose was to

belanja saya makan & he bought me a beloved tee from mng. HAPPY HAPPY :D

bought him a present too, yah la.. the tee will be accompanying me to sleep every night lah ;p

see u guys today ;D

muahs